Memories and the Art of Rewriting the Past.

I have been think about memory a lot recently.

I got goosebumps and might have even teared up a little the first time I saw Memory performed live (if my memory serves me correctly).  But this is not the memory I am referring to, although the lyrics are relevant to my musings.

I have been noticing the very human tendency to re-write the past giving ourselves a more golden glow.  I see this tendency at work in other people, and have talked to people who have also witnessed this tendency in others.  This brings me to wonder how much I embody this foible.

What I find perplexing, and perhaps a little disheartening, is that the very act of reminiscing may change our memories.  On a neuronal level, accessing a memory pathway seems to have the potential to change that pathway, effectively re-writing our memories.  Which perhaps explains the mechanism behind why people often really believe their version of the past, even when confronted with evidence to the contrary.

I first read about this neuronal re-writing of memories in The Brain That Changes Itself - a book that I would highly recommend to anyone.  But if you want a quick peek at this idea you could check out this article on Smithsonian.com: How Our Brains Make Memories.*  The researcher behind this article (Nadar) thinks "it may be impossible for humans or any other animal to bring a memory to mind without altering it in some way."  I really hope that he is not correct about this.  We rely on our memories so much.  I think that our view of our self and our place in our community/society largely hangs on our memories and the emotional and narrative meaning we attach to them.  If our memories are unreliable then how can we be certain about anything meaningful?

From a psychological perspective I think that we sometimes use this "coping strategy" to cushion ourselves from regrets.  But do we then reduce our chances of learning from the past? Without learning from the past how can our future selves grow into a more developed and mature version of our self?

I recently read "The Sense of an Ending" by Julian Barnes for book club.  I found the themes of the book very interesting.  I liked the way Barnes dealt with the unreliability of memories and examined how our version of the past may not be as accurate as we like to believe.  He examined the idea of corroboration of memories.  

As we move through time how can we look back to our past and recall events with any accuracy or objectivity?  Maybe we can't.  But maybe, with corroboration from others who were there, and even from our own writing at the time, we can discover truths about our selves and our history.  The big question though still remains: even with accurate reminiscing can we use the information to change those parts of ourselves that it would be beneficial to change.

I have been thinking about what steps we can take to minimize the corruption of our memories and preserve a truthful recollection of our past. 

Reading the book has lead me to want to journal more regularly so that I will have more of my own "in the moment" reflections to look back on in years to come.  I understand that my record of my thoughts, behavior and interaction right now will already be skewed and by no means objective.  But, being contemporaneous, any records I make now will surely be more reliable than my future memories of this present time.  

I will also be interested in corroboration from your memories and records of the past - so please try to lay down some accurate memories.

But then again, why would I want accurate memories?  Left to the natural effects of time and reminiscing, perhaps in the future I will remember my current self as much more witty, intelligent, beautiful, caring and happy than I really am.  Maybe that will be more comforting as I slump in my nursing home arm chair dribbling than remembering myself with more accuracy.  Is it that what happened to Griselda?  Is her memory of her youthful self is more glamorous than warranted?

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again 

* The article includes a description of an experiment to test memory in rats that included administering electric shocks to the rats so I do not recommend reading past the first page of the article if you will find this distressing.